boxingfanmanic

A new widow sits at her kitchen table, sipping champagne and staring at the box containing her husband's ashes.

She toasts him, and then says, "Remember that fur coat you always promised me? I'm wearing it, and it's lovely."

She has another glass of champagne, then says, "Oh, and Fred! Remember that tour of European capitals that you were always going to take me on? Well, I booked it this morning, and I can't wait."

As she finishes her drink, she looks over lovingly at the box and puckers her lips.

"And Fred, remember that b****** I always promised you? Well, here it comes!"

As we all look forward to big barbecues this weekend, take a moment to remember the fallen.

My husband, who is substantially older than me, served in Vietnam. The first KIA his unit took was his 2nd Lieutenant. (The life expectancy of USMC 2nd Lieutenants in Vietnam was, on average, two to five days.) For years, he thought about contacting this man's family to express his condolences on the loss of someone he considered a true leader. About 30 years ago, he was near the man's hometown while traveling through a nearby airport. He picked up the phone at the airport, began dialing, then hung up, because what could he say, after all?

The issue hung in his mind for another 15 years, then I suggested that he research the man's family to see if he could find any relatives and try again. He located a brother, Tommy, and placed a call.

Over the years, this Tommy had received a number of calls about his brother, all of which turned out to be placed by people who never served, didn't know his brother, and for whatever reason called anyway. He'd become expert at ferreting out the liars, so he asked my husband how his brother looked when he got to San Diego to meet up with his unit. My husband told Tommy his brother had a black eye, which was true. Tommy asked how he got it. My husband said, "From you" -- also true. There was no bad blood between the brothers -- they'd just been in a barroom brawl with a bunch of other Marines the night before. They spoke for about an hour, and my husband got the chance to tell Tommy what a terrific leader his brother had been.

Some weeks later, we traveled to Connecticut to meet Tommy and his sons. His sons had heard about their uncle all their lives, but were born long after the war. My husband told Tommy and his sons all of the stories he had about Richie, their uncle.

A few months later, we traveled to the Marine Corps museum in Virginia to meet up with Tommy again, but this time were joined by two other grunts from their squad, and by their sergeant. Everyone brought pictures, NVA flags, and everything else they could think of to share with Tommy and his sons. None of these men had seen one another in 50 years, and their wives and I watched as they began talking excitedly, laughing and smiling, as if they had seen one another the day before. I turned to one of the other wives and said, "We could run through here naked right now, and they wouldn't even notice!"

A few years ago, we went back to Connecticut to visit Tommy, and he took us to his brother's grave. The full weight of the cost of war fell on me as I subtracted the year of his birth from his death -- he was 23. And at 23, he'd already given more to his country than most of us ever will.

As we celebrate this year's Memorial Day, please remember the Richies. Remember the men who pledged "our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor" to found this new nation in 1776 -- most of whom died penniless. Remember those who've made that ultimate sacrifice ever since then. It's the least we can do.

Like everyone else in America, I've watched the George Floyd verdict, along with the burning and looting of our cities. I've heard the theory that America was really founded in 1619, and that slavery is a stain our history back not 150 years, but more than 400. I've seen reports that our schools are asking students as young as kindergarteners to understand that their "whiteness" makes them guilty of all of the above.

I'm troubled by much of this intellectually. More pressingly, I'm frightened for our future emotionally.

My niece had a baby in August of last year. That baby is a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes. Is he guilty? Merely by virtue of his gender and his color? And of what, exactly? A religious concept that I never understood -- the idea of "original sin" -- seems to have a parallel here. I'm terrified for this child who in my eyes is guilty of nothing, other than sometimes crying too much. And by the way -- this child's great-great grandfather was half black. Does that matter, in some incomprehensible way? Should he be shamed by sins not committed in his lifetime?

In my opinion (and yes, I know what they're like), America needs to take a much more thoughtful, less histrionic, approach to our race issues. Perhaps then we can return to the goals of one of our greatest citizens, Martin Luther King, Jr., and all of God's children may be judged not by the color of their skins, but the contents of their characters.

I find it sort of appalling that the above-named organizations have jumped into the political fray over Georgia's voting laws -- particularly when those laws don't stop any American citizen from voting.

They aren't the first -- and apparently won't be the last -- organizations to decide to dictate political discourse from the safety of their boardrooms.

My suggestion is that we all do the most efficient thing we can to convey our pleasure or displeasure with our woke corporations: vote with your feet. The impact of France's stance after 9/11 was a tremendous downturn in champagne sales to the US. The NFL's ratings are down dramatically for their stance on the flag. Ditto with awards shows, where Hollywood congratulates itself yearly but now has added its political commentary to its content.

If you don't like this sort of boot on the discourse, drink Pepsi. If you do, have a Coke. If you'd prefer not to be lectured on your political beliefs, don't watch movies. If you do, watch all you want.

All I'm suggesting is responding in kind. Otherwise, let the twitterverse will dictate the course of the country. You decide.

It fascinates me how little changes in the world. I realize all of you believe you're the answer, that none of us before you have ever seen the bad in our little world -- but we did.

My favorite author, and a towering intellect, Doris Lessing, wrote about all of the issues you think no one's noticed yet - and she was born in 1919. I challenge any of you to read all of her writings and maintain your beliefs. She rode the socialism/communism train almost from its inception, and came to see the emptiness of its promises (see The Sweetest Dream). She fought for rights for blacks growing up in what was then called Rhodesia (try the "Children of Violence" series), and was bitterly disappointed in its achievements, as much of Africa traded white dictatorship for black dictatorship, and nothing improved for anyone but the elected few (sound familiar?).

My favorite Lessing work, Canopus in Argos: Archives, posed a great question for all of us to consider on this front. The book ends with a huge meeting of youth from around the globe to put whites on trial -- all whites. Various groups of the youth charged whites with all of the historical crimes of the world. The youth had its advocate, and the whites had theirs. After a very long prosecution covering all of the sins of the world, the advocate for the defense rose to speak. He stipulated that all of the facts presented were not in dispute, and then asked a marvelous question: Given all that whites had done to others, why on earth did the other groups turn right around and behave in exactly the same way?

I posit to you that whoever does the sinning at a particular point in history, the sins are equivalent. The sin is still precisely the same, only the actors change. Perhaps all of us should spend more time considering this question, rather than tearing one another apart.